[Watch the video 👆or read the transcript👇]
A couple of questions I want to share with you that I’ve been playing around with a lot recently—and that are lifted directly from my meditation practice are:
“Is this skilful?”
and
“Is this wise effort?”
I’ve been practicing asking myself these questions throughout the day in context of whatever I happen to be doing in that moment.
And the reason for that is I find these questions to be hugely helpful in reorienting me to what’s most important to me in my life and work—in a way that helps me to attend to that, while protecting my energy and well-being.
Is This Skilful?
The first question, “Is this skilful?”, is related to the thoughts and intentions and choices that have been underpinning my behaviour in that moment.
It’s really a shortcut way of asking any number of other things like:
Is this really benefiting me or others in a meaningful way?
Am I responding or merely reacting to what’s going on?
Am I doing what’s right or just what feels easy and comfortable?
In a work context, it might mean, is this strategic or just noise?
In a relationship context, it might mean, is this respectful and ethical?
Is it morally sound?
Am I creating unity or division?
Togetherness or friction?
So in essence, asking the question, is this skilful, is like asking,
“Is my current inner state and behaviour oriented towards something wholesome and worthwhile? Or is it perhaps leading towards something I don’t want further down the line?”
Is This Wise Effort?
The second question, “Is this wise effort?” relates to energy and application.
Now, like many people, I suppose, I’ve been known to flit between
1) Strenuously striving and grasping for the things and the outcomes that I want and
2) Backing off to such an extent that I’m not really achieving anything worthwhile at all.
So wise effort is about finding that healthy balance between completely zoning out on one hand and trying too hard on the other.
It’s about recognising where the energy of my behaviour is currently at on a continuum between full-on avoidance and resisting at one extreme and desperate striving, clinging, grasping, controlling and over-efforting on the other.
Usually, for me, I know I’ve got that balance just about right when I feel that what I’m doing is important and worthwhile. And when that is accompanied by the sense that I’m not really taking it or myself too seriously.
It’s about giving it just the right amount of effort for it not to feel like a burden on my well-being and sanity. A little bit like a guitar string that only plays in tune when it’s not too tight and not too loose.
Now these two questions, “Is this skilful?” and “Is this wise effort?”, don’t come with any instructions for what to do. That’s up to you and your intuition. But what they do is help you to notice when and how you’re out of alignment with how you really want to be showing up for your life.
And by getting into the habit of asking these questions frequently throughout the day, you give yourself lots of opportunities to spot it more quickly, and to not allow too much time to pass for that habit energy of unskillful, unwise effort to lead you down avenues you’d really rather not go.
So I want to encourage you to give this a try. As often as you can remember throughout the day, simply pause and with whatever you’re doing, ask yourself the questions, “Is this skilful?” and “Is this wise effort?”
Warmest,
Paul 🙏
